My family has a history of adoption...for instance, my grandparents adopted 50 kids in their lifetime...yah, 50!!! It's nuts...anyways, I had a very interesting discussion with my parents today... I am 25, single, live in Toronto and am going back to Laos (a impovished country next to Thailand) in a few months. They had a serious discussion with me and said there are a few people who would like me to adopt their child. There are restrictions of course, but I will bypass them according to them because we have a history with the government and history with adoption. I am not sure I am ready for a child...but I know when I go there and see the impovished kids I might change my mind...I hope it doesn't sound selfish, but by adopting a child and raising him or her, doesn't it make me almost untouchable to ladies to date now? I am thinking this is a bad idea to adopt; but I can't ignore all the history my family has with adoption....
Singles & Dating - 5 Answers
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1 :
Being a parent will help you grow as a person. A woman worth knowing will love you for opening and sharing your heart with a child less fortunate than you. But do not do it only because of your family history, make sure you are doing it because you love the child and feel you can commit to the next 18yrs of their life. I'm 31 and honestly would think higher of a man who did this. I would love to adopt children but here (australia) adoption is severely restricted to infertile couples and takes 8yrs + local and international is blocked again due to too many families registered wanting to adopt.
2 :
i would think your more touchable because you saw the need a child had and stepped up to do something about it but only you can decide for yourself if this is really what you want to do, don't let anyone pressure you into this it is a big step
3 :
don't mind what the others might think or are thinking. Is adopting in your heart? Do you truly feel you'll love the kid and take care of him as your own? Will you let him study and learn different things? If yes to all, and other important questions, there's nothing completely wrong about adopting. but if you're considering what others will say, that's a different story. don't adopt just because it's in your grandparents' history, they wouldnt be the one taking care of the kid, its you! so think about it deeply, look in your heart, and in your pocket if you can afford it, because we all know having a child is expensive!
4 :
well you need to weigh up your pro's and con's if you have more pro's than con's you should be alright and the dating a chick should find you attractive and caring so you should have em at your feet your only young so you will be ok if you decide to adopt!!! :)
5 :
Please do not adopt unless: 1.) You feel a strong calling towards adopting a child. 2.) You are willing to educate yourself on all aspects of the emotional and social needs of the adopted child through all stages of his or her life. 3.) You feel yourself to be financially and emotionally stable. 4.) I'm not sure what nationality you are, but if you are adopting a child from another country, you have educated yourself on the additional needs of the transracially adopted child and teen. 5.) The 'untouchable to ladies' comment. I'm not knocking you for this comment - this is a honest comment - and you are wise to ask that of yourself. How are you going to feel about your child if their adoption does indeed make some women think twice about dating you. Is that fair to the child? 6.) If you are single, who is going to look after the child during the day? Are you aware of attachment disorder in adopted children? Are you aware that they need to have a primary support giver with them at most times during the early years? Who is that going to be? Put off what your family thinks - what do you feel in your heart? Are you ready?
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