First of all, I am only 18. And also, I am gay. My family's point of view on anything relevant to LGBT is that it is what's wrong with the world, but of course they would, growing up in a third world country, Laos, under extremely strict rules, following stringent customs and traditions. Both of my parents are more so strict to me than my older brother, 23, and younger sister, 14. A friend told me that I should come out to them anyways since the reason for why they may be treating me so harshly could be out of resentment or denial of me being gay; I don't make it obvious, I try not to. I just like being nice and having manners... growing up, they always argued, and took out a lot of their anger on me through what feels like a lifetime of verbal abuse, and more... the physical stopped a few years ago. But growing up, being raised into believing that people are going to do bad things to me, like to my parents--my parents were beaten and molested, made servants, and were punished for often no reason when they were children, and I can't blame them for turning out this way... don't count on them, or me to get counseling. I've tried counseling in my high school, and I swear our counselor was a creep who favored only girls with breasts. I'm not trying to be funny. Anyways, I'm stuck at home, going to a community college that my dad forced me to go to when I originally got accepted out of state, and I planned on living with other family near that out of state university, but my dad wanted to save money... on a new SUV they bought right after my graduation for themselves. My parents want me to become some sort of doctor, but honestly, I do not want to live my life for them, I have my own dreams and goals... but I feel like I can't even express myself or even attempt to pursue my dreams. I'm extremely socially awkward, growing up, and having moved around so much, and with my parents not liking the idea of me having any friends. My brother dropped out of a university after his sophomore year and is staying at home with his girlfriend which of course my parents know about, although they don't want to kick her out. My sister is no help at all because she is so lazy and selfish, I blame her just becoming a teenager. I've lost almost absolutely all interest for the things I used to love and do, like play tennis, other sports, games, etc. I love to sing and dance, but like that's ever going to happen in this house. Recently I got into a car accident, again, this is the first year I've been driving, and have had my license, and I've already been in 2 accidents. I wanted to commit suicide so many times. And lately, too. The first time was beyond hell, and it was my fault, but this accident was not my fault this time, though my parents of course aren't taking it so well. Asides from all of that, I am not sure what else I can mention. I feel so ugly lol, I feel so ugly to the point where I can't talk to anyone, just because I have acne, and I am gay. I don't know what to do, I don't know who to talk to anymore. I've tried following the "It Gets Better" project for so long, but it hasn't helped. I'm tired of this life already. I'm doing horrible in my second semester in college right now, not exactly miserably failing, but you could say I'm getting there with this attitude. I've asked and looked for advice everywhere, and I always get similar responses. I'm tired... I've been feeling like everyday of my life has been a struggle, and it's only getting worse, and that I honestly can't see or picture tomorrow. I don't believe I'm in any way exaggerating or being overdramatic; I'm trying not to be. I've been this way for years though, even though I'm only 18. I feel like life is getting worse, and I cannot see it getting better from here. Also, no matter how well I eat, no matter how well I sleep, and exercise daily, no matter if I drink numerous cups of coffee or energy drinks, I cannot help but to feel constantly tired--physically, emotionally, and often mentally drained..
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Go to the doctor's...he'll probably prescribe Iron pills or some vitamins and stay away from those energy drinks.
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