Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. I'm from Ohio, and I understand the diversity in California, so it's been hard for me to write something unique for UC. For prompt #1, would it be cliche to talk about my father immigrating to the US from a war-torn Laos? I want to say how my father lived through poverty in Laos and a second near-poverty in America. I want to say how his determination to work hard has led him to become a successful American, and how that led me to be determined as well. What should I focus on? His life in Laos? In America? How I am determined to accomplish goals? There's too many examples to illustrate my point.
Standards & Testing - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I am no essay guru but have a couple of daughters who have been successful in college (UCLA and Harvard.) I think it is fine to use the idea you have but you need to make it more personal to just you. Give a discrete example or two of events that either affected you or your father (and thereby had an impact on you) to illustrate this general concept. Then, if you can, show how you responded to this. Use bright, active, language. I think that a general essay without personal, specifics would be lost in the mass of essays. Hope that is of some help. Feel free to contact me if you want me to look at something you write. MIght be easier that sending something to people you know.
2 :
Remember that you are the one applying to college, not your father. The focus of the essay should be on you: your goals and your accomplishments. Discussing your father's life and accomplishments will not give the UCs any insights about you. Below are my recommendations for responding to prompt 1: The way Prompt 1 is worded can be a bit misleading. According to what I heard from Berkeley admissions, application evaluators (or at the very least, Berkeley and Irvine - confirmed by a student who attended a seminar at Irvine) want you to discuss your dreams and aspirations, and what you have done so far to achieve those dreams and aspirations. While it is important for you to define your world, you should NOT use your personal statement to describe your family, school or community. I recommend approaching the first prompt by figuring out what your world is, what your dreams/aspirations are, and what you have done in the context of your world to achieve those dreams/aspirations. Your world can have physical boundaries (for example, your bedroom, the church prayer room, or the community center) or mental boundaries (for example, your upbringing or cultural tradition). Another way to think about your world is by imagining yourself as a fish; are you in a fishbowl, a stream, a pond, or an ocean? Your dreams and aspirations can be broad or specific; perhaps you aspire to help people (broad) or maybe your dream is to be a TB specialist serving with Doctor Without Borders in Somalia (specific). Either way, you should discuss how your achievements (academic and/or extracurricular, within the context of your world) have helped you move toward achieving that dream/aspiration. You also want to consider talking about how you plan to continue these achievements in college. Whatever you choose to discuss in this prompt, remember the main focus should be on YOU; what you have accomplished, what your goals are for the future, and why you will succeed (in life and/or in college).
Read more discussions :
