Hello everyone, my name is Lana and I really need your advice. I’m currently living in South East Asia with my boyfriend and our 8 months old son. I’m Russian and my boyfriend is Indonesian. We became pregnant after just a few weeks into the relationship. He supported me when I decided to keep the baby and we stayed together ever since. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, we had feelings but we wouldn’t plan a family together if I hadn’t got pregnant. Although the pregnancy seemed to bring us closer to each other. We didn’t want to live in Russia due to immigration and other various issues, so we decided to stay in Asia for a while (Laos). We both don’t work (I have a monthly income from my apartment in Moscow which is sufficient for a simple living of our family in Asia), my boyfriend helps a lot with our son (we equally share all the house work and the time with our baby, we also have a maid helping), however last few months his attitude to me changed a lot – he’s never tender with me anymore, doesn’t hold me or kiss me, we hardly ever have sex, he avoids spending time together, he argues a lot and doesn’t talk to me for days and days after an argument, he doesn’t shout at me or anything, but is often a bit rude. I tried to talk to him so many times, but he gets angry anytime I bring up our relationship problems. I tried to tell him that I feel unwanted, that I need him and his attention – he would only says that he doesn’t understand what I’m talking about and that he’s tired. And he hates when I cry (I’m easy to cry, unfortunately), he just turns away and never comforts me. He doesn’t seem to want to marry me and anytime I ask “â€so, what’s about our future†he says “I don’t knowâ€. I mentioned to him that I can no longer live like this and maybe I would just leave with my son, but he didn’t seem to react on this, he just told me that he never regrets anything and I can do whatever I want. In the same time he still stays with us and still helps a lot with our son, and he seems such a loving father. I feel very hurt and I’m thinking about leaving him indeed and come back to Moscow or stay for a while somewhere else in Asia (like Bali) with my son. But it breaks my heart to think that my son will not see his father anymore, I also don’t feel mentally and physically strong enough to be alone and I’m terrified to think of myself as a single mother – what if I never meet a man and my son will not see a happy family around him (I’m 30 and I don’t look so great after giving birth). I know if we separate he would have a new girlfriend real soon, he always had many before. Please, let me know what you think. Thank you so much!
Family - 3 Answers
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1 :
If you do seperate, let him see his baby. It'll tear your kid up if he has never seen his dad.
2 :
Im affraid hes losing interest in you and is snobbing you its what men do when they dont like things anymore.They dont want to be mean but just snob and be rude and corrupt things and soon you cant handle it (and they know this) and you will leave its a nice way of letting you know its over.He wont tell you to leave cause he doesnt have the guts but i think he is not interested you should leave and be happy and go to moscow be careful in doing so. You never know it can be dangerouse and should be nice about it or cautious and have people there for you helping you out good luck.This tactic is used by many guys i use it aswell i know.
3 :
Sit with him and tell him you want to talk important about this. Give him ultimatum that you feel unwanted and he needs to change his attitude and if not, you'll leave. If he truly loves you, he will change his behaviour towards you and if not, i think, like the person above me said, he's bored and losing interest in you. You dont deserve to be treated this way and you must not stay in an unhealthy relationship. good luck
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