odd question i know...I am single with no kids...I had a woman at work ask me to marry her sister so she can live in america (marriage visa) and become a citizen...She wants to take me to Laos and meet her sister and if I like her then we get married (I have seen a picture and she is a pretty woman)...I guess this is a common practice there since it is a poor country, and the woman there want to be americans. Problem is her sister is 24 years old and I am 42... she says that her sister would take care of me and does not mind that I am so much older......I have struggled with this for 3 months and recently told her I cannot do it (because of the age difference and what people would think of me marrying someone so much younger, and I cannot justify marrying someone for my own sexual reasons...but I have no prospects right know and feel I may be happy If I did it...I have spoken to men I know and of course they all think I am crazy for saying no...and I would rather marry someone my own age that I have things in common with.....I know I can treat her very well and I know that listening and being connected to a woman is important in a relationship...I know I can put her interests before mine but still keep my dignity and not end up a doormat at the same time, I am not abusive or malevolent, i try to be very fairminded and not egotistical. Most woman my age do not understand that I am not real assertive in talking to them and i guess they think I am uninterested so that has always been an obstacle for me to meet available women here. This would be an easy way to meet someone, also most women my age have kids and will not have any more, so that is a consideration of marrying someone younger otherwise my reasons are all sexual...I could go on but I just want woman to give their opinions on this and see what you think about it...I don't get online very often so I will check back from time to time and probably just leave the best answer up to the forum. Well for sure I wasn't going to do it...I was shocked she even asked me...I know I could get a good decent moral woman rright here where I live and I am happy single...but I had to consider it because she made such a great case and I was intrigued at her offer to pay for everything...
Gender Studies - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I know you wanted "women only" to answer this question.. but you are aware that it is illegal for Laotian woman to have sex with a foreigner right? Look it up.. it's punishable by imprisonment.
2 :
If you're in the US, green card marriage fraud means a fine of up to $250,000.00 and up to five years in prison for you, and deportation for her.
3 :
ok sir, i will try and help you see what this other woman is trying to do with you, for her sister..and it isn't the age that is a problem, because you are both over 21, so there are a lot of women here, that age too, that you would have an easier way of communicating with you, and you need not spend the extra money crossing the ocean to do it..and what she is doing is try to sell you on the idea of marrying her sister because she is young and will take care of you, just to get her here, because she cannot say how another person will feel about you, because she is not her..she only hopes to buy her a husband, with the thought! So, you will sell yourself short, instead of look for a true relationship, at your own convenience from a woman from your own country, and when in doubt of anything, better to throw it out, then risk it hurting you, and best to error on the side of caution, then have something that could hurt you! so, i hope you know that there are still 24 year olds, if age is a factor to you, that would be willing to have a child with you in this country and you not have to travel all over the world to get one, because you are not comfortable with this idea, and i don't blame you..
4 :
No i don't think that this is a good idea. It's immoral, and even though she might have a better life in the USA it is not a good enough reason. You should marry because you love someone, not because you want something in return. She may be kind, she may give you everything you want in terms of sex, taking care of the house, maybe even having your children, but if she does not love you she is a prisoner to her dream of staying in the country. She might make a good wife, but not in the sense that you might want. Even if you were kind and gentle to her, it doesn't mean that you will love each other, or even get along. I don't see the age gap as a massive problem, but the fact that you have mentioned it a few times clearly means that you see it as a problem enough to think about it a lot.
5 :
If you're having that much of a problem deciding and your guts say "NOOOO", then leave it at that. I forsee a whole bunch of legal and emotional turmoil in the future if you choose to go against your own gut feelings.
6 :
Marrying someone so she can become a U.S. citizen would be a mistake. Both of you deserve to marry someone for love, not for mutual benefits. I'm sure her sister is very nice but if you don't love her and she doesn't love you, it won't work. Also, why can't your coworker's sister help her out instead? She's here in America, after all, so obviously it's doable.
7 :
Laos is totally different than what you think or know. money talks man.
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